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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27098143">luctus</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelaxy/pseuds/angelaxy'>angelaxy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Multi, Polyamory, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Time Travel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-09 04:08:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,413</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27098143</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelaxy/pseuds/angelaxy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Perhaps this time she’d gone too far and too long. Into a dream where Michiru wanted to be, with the family she’d lost — older memories that she couldn’t ever forget, the same memories that haunted her overtime.<br/>Then, she woke up, impossibly racked with <i>grief</i>.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Comte/Michiru/Leonardo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Ange's Whumptober 2020, Whumptober 2020, ` Temptation in the Dark `</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>luctus</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>btw there's a vague suicidal thought, it's very very brief so I don't tag it, a warn here is enough~<br/>pls be careful and take care of yourself &lt;3<br/>xoxo</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>My name is Michiru,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am twenty two years old,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No one will ever leave me again.</em>
</p><p>Those were the words Comte taught her when she felt herself slipping away from reality, perhaps this time she’d gone too far and too long. Into a dream where she wanted to be, with the family she’d lost to death — older memories that she couldn’t ever forget, the same memories that haunted her overtime.</p><p>Then, she woke up.</p><p>Quietly slipping out of the room, Michiru stood idly on the farthest wing of the mansion’s second floor, where the <em>door of time </em>existed. The door that won’t open unless it wanted to, the door that could bring her back to her era, but would she want to go home if there was no one waiting for her on the other side of this door?</p><p>Her family had left her, she’d been alone and her heart terribly ached.</p><p>Those dark brown eyes were hollow as she stared at the door, devoid of emotion, feeling a whirlwind of agony in her lapse of control.</p><p>
  <em>Slipping, slipping, slipping.</em>
</p><p>In another part of the mansion, Leonardo and Comte had been running around the mansion after they found the space between them in the bed was empty, and cold. The sun was barely rising, it was the darkest time of the day — exactly right before the dawn.</p><p>Comte barely had the time to dress properly, striding out of their room with unbuttoned shirt and pants as soon as he realized she disappeared. Leonardo didn’t even bother to wear a shirt. They lurked around the mansion, the garden, without any success.</p><p>“Did you find her?” Leonardo talked to Comte as he walked through the threshold and met Comte in the foyer, failing to find her outside in the gazebo and the garden.</p><p>“No, I’m afraid she’s in there.” Comte sighed slightly at the thought, a rare troubled expression across his face.</p><p>Both Leonardo and Comte told her to not go there in hope it would help to heal her grieving wounds, as how it was when she arrived here. The door would only make her remember what she’d lost. A whole family in one unfortunate accident and by some miracle she was spared, and her grieving journey led her here.</p><p>The mysterious door that brought her into another era.</p><p>To them.</p><p>But, she would remain drawn to the remnants of her past, slipping away from reality’s grasp.</p><p>Without wasting any more time, Leonardo ascended the stairs to the second floor, the farthest part of the hallway with Comte following behind him. His face was racked with concern. Their steps slowed when they caught the sight of her back, still in her white nightgown and her dark, long hair cascading down her back.</p><p>“As you feared, she’s slipping again.”</p><p>Comte nodded regretfully, “We must be careful and gentle, don’t startle her.”</p><p>After a nod of acknowledgment, Leonardo stepped farther. He touched her shoulder in an attempt to gain her attention.</p><p>Michiru flinched, blinking her eyes. “Please open the door.”</p><p>“Ma chérie..” Comte gently spoke to her, “You’re with us now, everything is alright.”</p><p>Instead, she ran to close her distance towards the door and gripped the handle, she tried and tried to push it down but it didn’t even budge at the slightest. “Open the door! I want to go home! They’re waiting for me, we promised to go on a vacation together!” They really did, before the fire happened.</p><p>Leonardo wrapped her waist with his strong arms and pulled her away from the door, gritting his teeth as he witnessed another sight of her slip. Yes, this was not the first time, it happened over and over which was why they tried to forbid her to see this door.</p><p>Comte put himself between her and the door, taking a hold of her wrists gently as she kept struggling. “This is your home, now. We are here with you.” Because it would be much better for her to be here, amongst them, loved, than returning back into her world or a place they couldn’t reach, all alone by herself.</p><p>Three years had passed since her arrival through that door but she was still slipping every now and then. Even now that she had both Leonardo and Comte who deeply cared for her and loved her for all the good and broken parts. All the irreparable damage from her family’s deaths, the incident broke her empathetic heart. The guilt of being the only one alive broke her fragile soul.</p><p>“Michiru.” Comte whispered her name as a plea, for her to return to herself, so did Leonardo.</p><p>Her eyes widened in desperation, tears of despair had fallen, leaving sorrowful trails on her cheeks but then.. she heard his voice, loud and clear. <em>Real</em>.</p><p>Comte’s.</p><p>Then, Leonardo’s.</p><p>Both were frantically calling for her name — not <em>cara mia</em> or <em>ma chérie</em>, but her name.</p><p>Gasping for breath as she sobbed, Michiru twisted her wrists on Comte’s hold, it wasn’t because she wanted him to let go, but the pressure of his hold was tight like he was keeping her in place. <em>Real.</em></p><p>A sob tore out of her throat, breath stuttering in her chest and the moment she regained herself, her knees finally gave way. Michiru slumped down, would have fallen on the floor if Leonardo didn’t catch her in time, he held her in his embrace as he crouched down.</p><p>Michiru began to mutter some words, her voice was weak and her tears were still falling, “I.. I had a nightmare.. How they died, and they were calling for me..”</p><p>“Ssh.. That was only a dream, it wasn’t real, cara mia. They won’t be calling for you because they must want you to live your life.” Leonardo whispered.</p><p>Comte only watched her, crouching down as well — cupping her cheek with one hand. Tender and soothing. He glanced at Leonardo meaningfully, telling him to take her back to her room.</p><p>A nod from Leonardo before he spoke to her, “Let’s get you back to bed, it’s not good for you to be here.”</p><p>“But, I want to go home.. They must be worried about me, I need to go back.”</p><p>Leonardo simply scooped her up in his arms but she looked past over his shoulder and stretched an arm towards the door behind them in an attempt to reach the door. To go home. </p><p>“Home, my home..” Michiru wriggled herself against Leonardo’s embrace.</p><p>Comte deliberately blocked her sight, standing between her and the door once again, but this time with a sorrowful expression as if he could feel her pain. “This is your home, chérie, with us.” He held her outstretched hand and placed a kiss of reassurance.</p><p>“Hey, cara mia, remember the words we taught you? Say it for us.” Leonardo said with a soft smile.</p><p>Her sobbing had subsided and she looked over Comte while sniffing, then back to Leonardo as he began to walk away from the door, distracting her with all his might. <em>He’s always warm</em>, she thought while leaning against his bare chest. </p><p>Lured in by Leonardo’s familiar warmth, Comte’s familiar gentleness.</p><p>Michiru finally looked at him, really looked at Leonardo — not the door, and she swallowed, willing her breaths to even, for her tears to stop flowing. Before the grief curled its way around her heart once more, she began to utter the words with a weak voice.</p><p>“My name is Michiru, I am twenty five years old. I have no family left.”</p><p>Comte added as he walked beside them while stroking her hair softly, a gentle smile on his handsome face, “And the rest..? I’m quite sure you remember the most important words.”</p><p>“I love Leonardo, I love Comte.”</p><p>Leonardo let out a deep chuckle, murmuring <em>‘Good girl</em>’ as he stared down to her. Once they arrived in the bedroom, he put her down on the mattress and tucked her under the blanket.</p><p>“They won’t leave me.” Soft exhales left her lips with the utterance, a relief.</p><p>As smooth as ever, Comte settled himself down on the bed, caressing her face and nodded with agreement of her words. He leaned closer to kiss her tears away.</p><p>“…They will never leave me.” A briefest smile tugged on her lips as the words and the reality sunk into her.</p><p>
  <em>Never again.</em>
</p><p>Behind that door, only the burnt ruins of a house awaited her.</p><p>A grief that might swallow her whole — an immense grief.</p>
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